Childlike wonder

Last year, I attended a funeral wake. The deceased's spouse told me that they were married close to 60 years. As someone who gets restless from time to time (don't we all), I am in awe when someone tells me they've been in a committed relationship for that long - be it personal or work. As they relayed this to me, they did so with a smile on their face. A smile that conveyed to me how proud they were. In my meta-analysis, I perceived wisdom embedded in their smile - I am willing to wager those approximately 60 years weren't all sunshine and rainbows.

One can look at that sort of commitment in many ways. Some might say, "that's incredible, but I'll never be able to achieve that." In this case, I would contend that you are a product of what you think. Never underestimate your ability to persevere couple with wise decision making. Anything worthwhile is hard.

Conversely, some might see a long-term relationship as something to strive for. Someone who has reached a long-term milestone serves as a beacon of "this is possible" to us hopeful dreamers building our own legacy.

My commitment is to my wife and kids. I might tell you how perfect I am, but my wife will tell you the truth. However, daily re-commitment to the notion of being perfect is a place to start. It’s a worthy pursuit, despite the challenge. Before I know it, I pray 60 years will have passed and I will be just as proud as my friend at the funeral.

Pretext aside, I think the greater idea under the hood of longevity is maintaining a proverbial childlike spirit. Of course, you need to be serious and continuously solve the real problems you’re dealing with. However, a childlike spirit makes it fun and enjoyable along the way. Children are (mostly) charming and have a fresh curiosity that motivates them. I think that’s why people smile when they see a baby. They’re untainted. At what point do we lose that curiosity? Can’t we have it both ways?

I imagine the person celebrating just under 60 years of marriage would tell you they made it there by maintaining curiosity in their relationship. Evolving together. Having fun and laughing. Whether it’s work or a relationship, the true wisdom in longevity lies in a childlike spirit. You’ve been through it all, yet have resisted the urge to become jaded and callus. Siri - please set a reminder for me to re-read this in 60 years.

Here’s to embracing a level of childlike wonder in spite of the infinite number of things we could begrudge. For you who say this is view is altruistic or overly optimistic - it’s better than the opposite, right?