Common ground. Shared mission.

Do you ever play chess, Uno, Hungry Hungry Hippos and Operation simultaneously? My guess is not.

Doesn’t everyday work and personal life often feel this way? You’ve got to get the emails down to less than 20, call back so-and-so from a week ago, be prepared for the meeting in an hour, reset your password for the third time this week, be sure your spouse and you are on the same page, and show up to smile at the kiddos at gymnastics.

We all play a series of games simultaneously in some shape or form.

I think the bottleneck in communication often occurs when the person you’re interacting with isn’t playing the same game you are, or at least not the same game at the same time. Or, maybe their rules are augmented from yours.

One issue you see a lot with spouses are discrepancies in gender roles. I think the problems more or less stem from different methodologies or approaches and lack of explicit clarity on who does what. Apply this to more than the issues between genders: profession, specialty, sport, etc. it’s infinitely complex.

I often see people lump issues they observe in others as character deficiencies. Their methodology differs from their counterpart, therefore the counterpart must be wrong. However, little does the critic know, but the other person thinks and operates in a totally different way. And it’s only fair to recognize disparate approaches when settling differences.

With all this in mind, I’m more interested a shared mission and how each party can use their unique talents to support said mission. This applies at work and at home. My philosophy for dishwashing cadence, how to dispense toothpaste (we all know those people who only squeeze from the middle), and generally divvying out responsibilies may differ from my spouse.

However, I’m not so worried how we’re different. I’d rather concentrate on how we can compliment one another. So too, friends, work colleagues, etc.

Think more today about your counterpart’s strengths and not their differences that you’re tempted to call deficiencies.