Five years
I’m tired tonight. Thought about sitting this one out. I know, it’s only the second successional week. I spent most of the day washing both cars, smoking some delicious chicken and hosting dinner. In all seriousness, it wasn’t that bad, I’m just tired. Maybe it was the bourbon.
At any rate, this being a couple days after my fifth anniversary with Brittany, I thought it would be appropriate to talk about us.
Leading up to our relationship, I had dated many other women. I don’t really want to reflect on that much, other than the fact that after each one, I constantly felt the tug on my hear yearning for more. What was that more? Let just get this straight - what I sought was a woman who would hold me accountable, strive the same type of chastity that I desired, and had the same long-term goals that I had. I really wanted a woman who took her Catholic faith seriously, and allowed for it to drive her being.
Trust me, I had been in relationships where that was not focus nor direction. My conscientiousness envisioned the future with those other gals. I got the sense those prior to Brittany would lead me down the path of demise. I did not want to repeat the mistakes that preceded me. Divorce was not an option in my world.
On a more positive and happy note, during our time of courting, Brittany seemed to strike that perfect balance. She was the first woman that kept me in check with my faith. She was beautiful inside and out. She had a deep faith as well as an understanding of this world.
She was human. She also enjoyed a delicious cocktail at one of our first date nights at the Volstead. She knew how to be silly. She was human. She inspired me to want to be a better man. Generally, people these days look at discipline as a shackle. A way of holding them down. Brittany and I were disciplined before marriage. We sought to know each other in the way that was intended. It is my experience that the discipline in our relationship set a tone.
A fun anecdote. The night we went out to Volstead, we took a walk in the cold lakefront of Sandusky. I asked her if she knew which way was North. She pointed right towards Sandusky Bay. I explained to her that it was actually not directly towards Sandusky Bay, but a little more to the right toward the mouth of Lake Erie, just to the left of Cedar Point. She disagreed with a trick up my sleeve, I walked her down a block to Schade-Mylander Plaza. Little did she know it would make for a funny moment since there was a compass laid into the pavers indicating who was correct.
Brittany has such a faith that inspires me daily. She prayed endlessly for answers as to where she was going in life before we started dating. I find her connection to God to be one that is quite peculiar. So much so that the novena she prayed for an answer as to whether or not she would be to called to marriage ended the night before our first date. The novena was to St. Therese of Lisieux, if I’m not mistake. There have been many of these moments throughout our relationship where we’ve seen a direct response from God for our prayers. She just has a way with Him.
Anyway, I hope not to bore. The bottom line is, she is so very special. The five years we’ve spent as a married couple seem to be like a flash. It’s almost as thought it didn’t even happen that it happened so fast. I am thrilled to see where life takes us and what is next. We have been so abundantly blessed so far. Despite the ups and downs, I am so thrilled it’s her I have to contend with.
Dr. Jordan Peterson describes marriage as finding a person just as sniffling, and just as much of a liar as one find themselves to be. You find that person and shackle yourself to them and force them to tell the truth, just as they do for you. I find that synopsis quite intriguing. Where it’s dark, it’s also a realistic depiction in the most archetypical form. I often hear other married people talking about how their spouse behaved. Often times it comes with a story of what happened, and how they made amends to keep proceeding into the “happily ever after,” Healthy relationships recognize the necessity of those moments, not getting too far into the track of begrudging. If we’re honest with ourselves, we are all in that situation in any relationship and it’s not a bad thing.
Brittany and have these moment, just as many other couples do. Do they make me frustrated sometimes? Sure. Do they drive me to want to pull away completely and selfishly? Never. The alternative, I find, is much scarier that having the tough conversation. To face her when I’ve been a putz. I love her too much to turn away. I know it’s my duty to love her in good times and bad. To honor our vows. That just what I intend to do.
I love you, Brittany.